Sunday, August 31, 2008

Things That Are Sticky Classic: Elmer's Glue

Today was a day where very few things I encountered had the potential for being sticky. However, I do not want to leave my readership high-and-dry, and I have decided to post a Things That Are Sticky Classic. In this case, it's Elmer's Glue-All, a Multi-Purpose Glue, that, at least according to the label, "Bonds Strong". Everyone uses this! It is white and helps to stick paper to other paper. Sometimes, you take it and mix it with water and it will help with other craft projects. When I was in grade school, I was one of those students who would pour it slowly on an index finger, wait until it dried, color the sticky plastic nub with a crayola washable marker, and then peel it off. It was art! High Art. You are not allowed to say otherwise. Elmer's Glue is sticky, that is the nature of glue. I like that little bull there. Is that Elmer? He has such a smug expression on his bull-face. It is as if he knows that you will not glue the corners down on those two pieces of construction paper. He knows this. He knows that you will put too much glue down, and when you push the pages together, the white substance will ooze out from between the sheets. You will wipe it with a finger, and the smug bull will look on, disapprovingly. Oh, glue!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Sticky Mystery! Table Corner?

I honestly don't know why the inside corner of this "Ikea" purchased table is sticky. I fear it a little bit. Maybe a cold soda was spilled where it sat on the end table? Maybe those crafty Scandinavians ship their tables with one sticky place, meant to appease the "hidden people?" Either way, I am going to clean it up. Post-haste.

Beard Papa Eclaire

It is never a good idea to ask for a potentially messy dessert when you are on a date with an adorable girl who you really want to like you. However, when have I ever been one to play it safe? This eclaire here turned out to be quite a formidable opponent, sticky yet delicious. You see this blog's author here, covered in chocolate and creme, ashamed but confident. Beard papa! You salty sea-dog! EDIT: THIS PHOTOGRAPH WAS NOT TAKEN BY ME. IT WAS TAKEN BY THE GIRL REFERENCED IN THE POST, WHO IS NAMED SARAH. SHE IS A GIRL WITH A PRETTY SMILE AND A PERFECT LAUGH. I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SO CALLOUS AND NOT GIVING CREDIT WHERE IT WAS DUE.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Grape Jelly

I made my lunch today! This is already a step in the right direction. I was crafting a fine third-grade style peanut butter and jelly sandwich and managed to be sloppy with the jelly. Jelly has made the jar sticky, too. Overall, I am surprised he has not made an appearance on the blog before.

You might be wondering how I planned to create a "PB&J" style sandwich without one of the crucial ingredients. Well, unfortunately, peanut butter is not so happy with our sticky friend here. Jelly is sorry. He has bags under his eyes from lack of sleep last night. He is kind of a mess with worry. If the world is just, things will be ok. I just want a tasty sandwich.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Gum On Bus Seat Back

This blog could quickly de-evolve into a set of pictures of used gum, and I won't let it. That being said, this gum here was so bright against the cold utilitarian grays of the bus, I couldn't help but take a picture. Someone, I suppose, must have tried to secret this away when it had lost it's lustre in their mouth. Now, probably unknown to them, it appears on the internet. Who are you, mysterious litterer? Why not wait until you found a refuse bin? These are questions without answers.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Bottom Of A Lecture Hall Seat

I am sitting in a room filled with students who are fumbling their way
through an examination. The chair in front of me (I am at the head of
the class) features, among other interesting things like a slide-out
desk, a wad of chewed gum on the bottom. Sticky and disgusting. Also
tacky: the print on the chairs.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Donut (Partially Eaten)

So unhealthy! If I did not use the wrapper, I would probably need to
put up another entry about my hands (post donut). Thank you, wax paper!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Foot From A Laptop

I am visiting a friend. On the ground, we found the rubber foot from his computer! I asked him if it was sticky, and he confirmed that indeed, it was. "Then it goes on the blog." Well, here it is.

Magazine Advertisement Holding Goo

In the latest issue of "Wired" Magazine, there is a silly foldout advertisement for the Discovery Channel. Holding the foldout in place is a bit of stickum, whihc can be peeled off and played with by nerdy boys with fidgety hands. It was only semi-sticky, but it warranted inclusion in this exclusive blog.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Cough Drop Wrapper

I have been using my voice quite frequently as of late, and so this morning I decided that I needed a Ricola brand cough drop (raspberry and honey flavored, I think) in order to assuage my ailing pharynx. Imagine my surprise when, upon opening, I found that the wrapper had a kind of dry sticky-ness to it. It is kind of like the back of the sticker they use on official letters to affix the recipient's address. Does that ring a bell at all? I am a sticky-things connoisseur, so that simile might not be understood by my readership.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Mysterious Food Remnant

When I walk home from the bus, sometimes I'm lost in a book or paper and I won't always be so careful to watch where I am going. Today, my left foot (pictured) came into contact with an unidentified sticky ground substance. It is kind of gross, to be perfectly honest.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Angel Food Cake (Fresh)

It was my friend's birthday! I baked an angel food cake and when I wrested it from it's cake pan, it was heck of sticky. The birthday was fun for everyone involved. Fun and sticky.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Bus Stop Trash Can

Mere seconds after my brush with a sticky bench (see previous post), I again ended up a character in some cruel play, putting my hand on this trash can. Same sticky substances as were found on the bench, but now also found on my hand. O terrible fate!

Bus Stop Bench

This bench proved to be quite sticky, and me with new pants! This looks to be a mixture of used gum (a perrenial sticky favorite) and tree sap. I will stand, thank you.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Roommate's "Lime-Aid"

I was merely moving it aside to fetch water from the back of the
refrigerator. I discovered, at this point, why it was a fool's mistake
to drink directly from the carton.

Thrift Store Television With Band Allegiance

I was not expecting this to be sticky, and I was quite surprised. The
television, I think, had been covered with tape. I am glad that it is
such a huge fan of Blink 182.

Shaving Cream (Near the End of It's Life)

Oh man this one makes me look kind of gross but this is a real-life
blog and I want to report the truth. This can of shaving cream is
sticky, and it's in my bathroom.

Apartment Stairwell Handrail

I needed to use this to steady myself going up the stairs and I
immediately regretted this decision. Immediately.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Movie Theatre Cup Holder

Yeah, this one was obvious and really gross. Luckily for me, it was one of those armrests that can be lifted. For MAKEOUTS?

These Coins and Most of the Rest of a Cute Girl's Car

The coins had lip gloss on them. The girl, while cute, was highly embarrassed by the state of her automobile.

Red Blood Cells, After Sugar Free Red Bull

In this article, it says that sugar free Red Bull can make your red blood cells sticky. This can lead to clotting, which the authors put in bold on the site because of the danger. So, I guess extreme sports stars need to take it easy with the RB.

Base Of the Stairs, 1 and a Halfth Floor

I was hurrying up the stairs and my shoe made a weird noise, as if peeling away from a sticky spill on the ground. On further review, there is in fact a sticky spill on the ground here. It is probably soda. Watch out! Soda!

Papier-Mâché Stars

I think it's mostly the starch, but as these were drying they were quite sticky.